Fadi tells world ICANN has nothing to hide

(June 23, 2014) In response to criticism over the organization’s transparency, today ICANN CEO Fadi Chehadé stripped bare on stage.

“I have been listening, and I have heard your concerns, every day, about how we are not transparent enough,” Chehadé told the unsuspecting audience. “And that is why, today, I am going to show you that I have… nothing to hide,” he exclaimed, tearing off his shirt and tie to reveal a toned and oiled-up torso. “From now on, you can keep me to my word, there is nothing that I will not show you.”

Chehadé’s subsequent efforts to invite his entire executive team on stage were gently rebuffed, while attendees at the opening ceremony in London sat in silent awe until one ventured a question.

“Who is your fitness trainer?” Chehadé was asked. “I’m afraid that is a confidential matter,” he responded. “How do you find time to work out?” asked another. “On the advice of legal counsel, I can’t respond to that question,” Chehadé said.

“Any tips for getting ripped?” came a third question. “If you will send that request in an email, I will make sure it is responded to…”